What are you looking for?

This is such a classic issue..
What we want is different with what we should do or what our parents want us to be..

p: “I want to have one of my daughter to become a doctor..”
c: “Okay.. but one thing for sure, she’s not me..”

p: “Why don’t you try apply a job in …. ? (a state company or state department)”
c: “why should I?”
p: “because you can have a settle job with certain income..”
c: “okay.. pa, I’ve put an application letter in a BUMN’s recruitment..”
p: “so..? when is the test? tell me the story”
c: “no.. just it.. you told me to apply right? I applied.. but that’s it..”

m: “have u sent the application letter?”
c: “I have.. but I don’t really want to go there,,”
m: “hei, you can have bla bla bla (which makes a real good daughter follow what their parents said)”
c: “but, I don’t want those things.. not right now.. I can’t”

fortunately, my parents are such democratic people who can support their children in every choice they made..
in school, in profession choice, etc.. but still, sometimes…

p: how’s ur work?
c: fine.. and bla bla bla (I usually told him so many stories, theories, and experiences..)
p: don’t you want to apply for another job..? (still)
c: no.. not right now.. it’s enough for me.. now.. this is what I want.. 🙂

and finally, I chose to continue my study (amiin) which made my parents stop asking me to apply for another job..
because it’s more difficult if I’m working in a big company with certain rules  of getting permission to study..

I know.. every parents wants best for their children.. I realize.. I even agree in every words they said about how I should do for my future..
and I know, there are others children just like me, who have made choice differently with what their parents ever wanted..
maybe I’m just a simple example with no complicated problem about this..

next, the question is why?
what exactly are we looking for right now?

is it money? is it a settlement? is it life assurance?
what I want is to be smart.. what I am looking for now.. is as many as possible experiences..
what I want is learning about many many things.. experiencing many many things..
and I’m not sure I can get that if I work for any company that my parents want me to..

maybe it’s not about the company..
maybe it’s just me..

c: “ma, my friends said that there’s only few things to do there.. but still we can get so much money..”
m: “isn’t that good?”
c: “ma, my friends are still idealist.. they want money which worth their effort.. not more or less..”
c: “and more, they want to do more than the work they have to do right now..”
m: “you and ur friend can use the spare time to study another things right? as long as you can manage ur time well, you can get everything.. both knowledge and settlement..”
c: “that’s the problem.. We only can study if our environment makes us to..”

there are several reasons why we choose our way..
maybe we are just a fresh graduate which still have big dream and being idealistic..
we want to live straight..
we want a profession that’s not only a job but also something that can upgrade our selves..
we want a job that requires us to learn a lot, not only about theories but also practical..
we want a job that makes us learn about how to live our life for future..
we want a job that makes us happy by just doing it..
we want to gain for what is worth..
in the beginning and in the end, basically it’s the same..
the point is we want to be smarter, smarter, in everything, with no limit..

fortunately, for me, it has been easy to get it all..
fortunately, it’s not always been easy to passed all things through so I can study..
fortunately, I haven’t found any conflict of interest in my own self..
fortunately, there’s always a problem that we have to solve..

friends, it’s not easy for us in every choice we made..
I know everyone has their own way and problems too..
but this is what we called life right?

it’s better for us right? every difficulties we find will make us smarter, stronger, and wiser..
keep your spirit and always pray..
I hope all of us can be succeed in everything we are doing right now..

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